My Best Friend: a Mother’s Day Post
I want to talk about my mom. Everyone says they have the best mom (well not everyone, but we do hear it all the time). Well, I truly actually believe I do have the best mom.
Don’t worry, I know she isn’t perfect. I figured that out when I was a child just like everyone else does.
But I’m grateful she isn’t perfect. That’s part of what makes her the best. Can you imagine if you had perfect parents, and then when you became a parent and realized how hard it was, how even more inadequate you would feel?? Imperfect parents help you to be patient with your own imperfections. When I come to my mom feeling completely broken, she tells me of a time she felt the same. Or a time she made the same mistakes with one of my siblings, and there is nothing more comforting than knowing someone you trust has been through all the same struggles. And that someone you admire made the same mistakes.
That’s part of what makes moms so amazing.
I find that as we become adults, we are hyper aware of what we feel our parents did wrong, and we sometimes start to feel like maybe they’re responsible for some of our insecurities. Which can often be true. So many people had rough childhoods and many grew up with parents whose methods left them scarred phychologically.
For those of you who live in that reality, please don’t feel like I’m trying to throw this in your face. I cannot understand what it is like to grow up with parents who treated you poorly, so I won’t try to pretend I know how you feel. I’m also not trying to ignore that this is many people’s reality. However, I do want to express gratitude for having been so blessed as to have the BEST parents. I hope I will convey gratitude, and not pride through this.
Now, as I said, adults tend to grow up and realize mistakes their parents made. Now I know my parents weren’t perfect, but when I became a mom I realized just how good at parenting my mom and dad were. My parents were the couple at church that all the other couples admired. I remember frequent comments from other parents saying they hoped they could someday be like mine. I didn’t understand just how blessed I was to be one of their children until I grew up and realized others had different circumstances.
Those of you following my blog already know that as a teenager I started seeing a therapist. One of the most important and priceless things my therapist taught me (very early on) was how to communicate with my parents. Through this training and through practice, I developed a relationship with my mom that few daughters have. I began by confiding in her who at school was cute, then opened up to talk about my insecurities, and eventually was able to share everything with her.
After I left home and sailed off into the sunset that is college (Well, I thought it was a sunset at the time. It’s more like a hurricane), I became one of “those” students who calls their mom every day. I talked about my day, and she talked about hers. I was the one she vented to about rough days and shared new recipes with. I was her “girl talk” buddy, and she was mine.
Over the years as an adult, my mom has opened up to me in ways only a mom to her adult daughter can. Now that we are both adults, and both moms, we are friends.
My mom was very good at being a confidant while still being the parent up until I got married. She still gives me advice of course, as all parents do, but our relationship is more equal now. And it is incredible. Having a best friend in my mom is the most amazing blessing in my life.
My mom has gone through hard things during my adult life, and when she confides in me, and is vulnerable with me, I can help her in ways I never would’ve been able to growing up. It feels like paying a little portion back for everything she’s done for me. Although, that is a debt that will never be paid.
I could’ve written in this post about how amazing and self sacrificing and talented my mom is. But all moms are those things. What makes my mom the best is our relationship with one another. What makes her the best is her relationship with all her children. She’s good at letting us know she loves us. And she’s very good at being your friend.
So Happy Mother’s Day mom. My best friend 🙂