Peppered through a calendar of 365 days are days with significance. Days that stand out among all the rest as meaningful in some way.

All cultures attach meaning to dates and seasons. It seems to be inherent in human nature. Anniversaries create an emotional connection. Even if someone tries to remove significance from say, their birthday, that date still stands out to them. It still holds meaning. How could it not? The connection has been made, neuron paths created.

Why do we do this? Why do we connect meaning to a date? There are 31 days in October, and yet halloween seems to be the primary connection made to the whole month. One day out of 31 stands out more than all the others combined.

My husband theorizes we do this for comfort. That creating and seeking patterns gives a sense of security. Identifying seasons, moon cycles, and anniversaries gives us something to ground to. A reference in time, which is something we only barely understand.

But why then, do our minds create significance in negative anniversaries?

Why do specific dates, and ranges of dates, stand out as a reminder of something horrible? Why do our minds create meaning and connection to a date that doesnt bring comfort? Why can’t it just be a day?

November 3. Why can’t November 3 just be a day?

Just like you can try to ignore your birthday, but you still know in the back of your mind that that day is different, I try not to care about November 3, but deep down I can’t forget.

And then November 5. The funny thing is I dont even know what November 5 is an anniversary of. I just know it’s connected to November 3. But it stands out. Its on my mind. The significance is there.

And November 6. Its even worse than the meaning in the 3rd and 5th. Because instead of having meaning, it still feels like November 6 isn’t real. It doesn’t happen. After November 5 comes November 7. I know logically there has to be a November 6. I see it on the calendar. In my planner. On my phone. But it doesn’t feel real. Its something my mind prefers to guard away, like a forgotten dream. To pretend it’s all a lie. That November 6 never ever happened.